My husband, Tyler, and I just celebrated 6 years of marriage earlier this month. I think a common misconception people have is that because I do photography and I had second shot a wedding before I got married, my wedding photos were immaculate and super professional. While I wish this were the case, there are so many things I have learned over the last 6 years of being a wedding photographer that I wish I had known before I planned my own wedding. To preface this post, I was a bride on a budget (and there is NOTHING wrong with that!). However, I hope whoever is reading this, whatever your budget, you learn from this photographer’s mistakes/regrets to hopefully have the photos of your dreams!

Planned my budget around photography

Ironically enough, photography was low on my priority list in terms of budgeting. I wanted to make sure I had enough for the venue of my dreams (also important) but I spent way too much on favors nobody used, décor that nobody cared about, and small things that didn’t really matter in the end. My pictures are ALL I have left of my wedding day, and I still get sad sometimes when I see them. I probably only have one or two that I even like enough to hang on my walls, let alone put any anywhere else. I have hardly any detail photos (and I am a HUGE lover of details), there were lots of important moments and details missed, and so much more. If I had just spent a LITTLE bit more and hired a more reputable photographer instead of trying to save a few bucks by hiring an amateur, I might have saved myself a lot of heartache.

Did a first look

I will say this until I am blue in the face – DO THE FIRST LOOK. This is something I desperately wish I did! I was such a proponent of the “tradition” of not seeing each other prior to the ceremony. Looking back, I wish I could hit myself. The beauty and benefits of a first look trumps “tradition” any day. I was such a nervous wreck that day. My stomach was in knots and I was sure I wasn’t going to make it down the aisle without throwing up. When I finally did get to the aisle and I saw Tyler, every knot disappeared and I was calm. If I could have had that feeling 2 hours before that, the day would have been MUCH more enjoyable. I wish I could have gotten his REAL reaction to seeing me for the first time. I wish he could’ve gotten to take a better look at my dress, that we could hug and kiss and just BE together before the start of the chaos of the day, and also gotten some pictures out of the way beforehand!

Used real florals

I want to emphasize that there is NOTHING wrong with fake florals if you do it right! However, I used cheap, obviously fake, pre-made bouquets from Hobby Lobby. They look TERRIBLE in photos. The colors are off and they just look low budget and awful. I wish I had spent a tad on real florals, just for me and my bridesmaids. Then the bouquets could have been re-purposed for reception décor AND I would have beautiful photos with my dream bouquet. However, one thing I will say is that I did fake florals for everything else (arch, head table, etc.) and NOBODY noticed and I thought they were beautiful! I also don’t regret using fake boutonnieres for the guys. Nobody cared much about those either!

Chose a DJ who catered to the couple

One thing I found out after the wedding was already over was that we had a family member who had dictated a lot when it came to the DJ, especially in terms of up-lighting that we paid for. I wish our DJ was more communicative with US instead of everyone else. As a wedding vendor, I understand that dealing with parents and family of the couple can be hard, but at the end of the day, you are there to serve the COUPLE and no one else. We really didn’t have a lot of say in what was played and I feel like if we had even a tiny bit of input, we might have had more people on the dance floor.

Spent less on small décor

One thing that I kick myself for a lot is the fact that I spent SO much money on things that I shouldn’t have. My venue was GORGEOUS and had a lot of beautiful touches and antiques. I really didn’t have to do much decorating. I wish I had done a more “minimalistic” style instead. It would have saved me money and no one would be the wiser.

Cared less about other’s opinions

This might be easier said than done, but I have seen so many brides that get run over on their wedding days because they don’t want to make a scene or get more stressed out. I was the same way. I wish I had put my foot down about a lot of things (including who actually married us and the guest list!). Yes, of course my parents had some kind of say in some things since they were paying for a majority of it. However, this was OUR day and people need to remember that about you, too. This is your day and you should be able to have a say in how you want things to go, even if you are not paying for it. Don’t be a bridezilla, but think about what is REALLY important to you and stand by it.

There are probably so many more that I could name, but these are the big ones. At the end of the day, it is what it is. I got to marry my best friend, we have two beautiful children, and we have a wonderful like together. However, I also want to validate the budget brides’ or the courthouse brides’ or any other brides’ feelings that it is OKAY to mourn what you wanted your big day to feel like. It is okay to wish things were different or daydream about what could have been. If this helps any future brides plan their budgets better or help validate a past bride’s feelings about her own day, then it is worth it!